guarded: jupiter rising
it’s like a game of cards, i used to take a gamble.
i played all or nothing and i kept losing.
you said you don’t play, catch me and then walk away.
no more crying and lying and mis-using.
but what happens when the honeymoon ends?
and then you leave - i’m in too deep to surface again.
i wanna let you in but i’m so guarded
‘cause in my past i’ve been so broken hearted.
it’s up to me to get this loving started
i’m guarded, so guarded.
you say to trust and that i must believe you.
how will i know that you will always be true?
‘cause in the past i’ve been so broken hearted.
i’m guarded, so guarded.
i’m not really sure what happened this week, but i pray that it is truly of God this time and that i don’t get squashed like a bug all over again. i cannot do round two and have it kick me in the face again. especially with the same person. i told myself i would not ever do this again, that i would never take a risk on another person again as long as i live. but here i am again, finding myself doing the same thing even after begging God to take this situation away if it’s not from Him. as soon as i gave up is the minute things turned around… so Lord, if this is You taking the wheel, by all means, take it.
