You can make anything new.

i have been crucified with Christ and i no longer live, but Christ lives in me. the life i now live in the body, i live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. [galatians 2:20]
desthany and jennifer, 2011

desthany and jennifer, 2011

obligatory endearing photo of the fiance.  i have not had a chance to even look at any of the new work i have done in the last few months (i can’t believe i’m finally posting any) because of my job at family dollar, which i recently quit because it was robbing me of my joy and health and not allowing me to pursue anything photographic. i thank God that He always provides for me and makes a way. i thank Him for the strength He has given me all these months. now it is time to move on.

obligatory endearing photo of the fiance. 

i have not had a chance to even look at any of the new work i have done in the last few months (i can’t believe i’m finally posting any) because of my job at family dollar, which i recently quit because it was robbing me of my joy and health and not allowing me to pursue anything photographic. i thank God that He always provides for me and makes a way. i thank Him for the strength He has given me all these months. now it is time to move on.

sometimes, the old me that likes to get in peoples faces and correct them with no remorse or reserve tries to creep up on me. i want to handle everything the way Jesus would, but i am really getting sick and tired of the way people backstab my fiance. i really have had enough and pretty soon, someone is seriously going to get what is coming to them, and it surely won’t be by my hands. vengeance belongs to God - and whether God disciplines someone or not, if they keep turning to wickedness, the devil might just get to them before God does. and God has no problem handing people over to their sinful desires. i’m tired. and i’m disgusted. because i know what it’s like to have even the best of “friends” turn their back on me. i’m done.

people are absolutely unbelievable. 

i’ll just leave it at that.

there is a God who loves me,

who wraps me in His arms.

that is the place where my life is changed, oh God.

and that’s where i belong.

my life right now has been turned upside down and i have no idea what will happen anymore. all my hopes, plans and dreams… not the slightest idea. God will have His way.

greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world.

some things honestly seem too good to be true. this is my first real relationship, and to be completely technical, my first boyfriend. (what happened when i was 15? that one thing 7 years ago? entirely irrelevant and doesn’t count for anything.) our plan for friday is to go look at… engagement rings. ever since this all came together, i can’t stop thinking about how i don’t understand most (not all, most) relationships in the world without Jesus. i cannot possibly fathom just getting with someone just to get with them, date, engage in some kind of sexual activity for a time, break up, find someone else, and do it all over again. over and over and over. chris and i will not even kiss on the lips until our wedding day. the concept of “dating around” and doing so based only on physical attraction or even brief personality attraction is so foreign to me.. especially because i have never done it, even before i turned to Jesus and led a christian lifestyle. and all i can say is i am honestly very glad that i never experienced that. the way things are right now feel pretty much awesome.

some things honestly seem too good to be true.

this is my first real relationship, and to be completely technical, my first boyfriend. (what happened when i was 15? that one thing 7 years ago? entirely irrelevant and doesn’t count for anything.) our plan for friday is to go look at… engagement rings.

ever since this all came together, i can’t stop thinking about how i don’t understand most (not all, most) relationships in the world without Jesus. i cannot possibly fathom just getting with someone just to get with them, date, engage in some kind of sexual activity for a time, break up, find someone else, and do it all over again. over and over and over. chris and i will not even kiss on the lips until our wedding day. the concept of “dating around” and doing so based only on physical attraction or even brief personality attraction is so foreign to me.. especially because i have never done it, even before i turned to Jesus and led a christian lifestyle. and all i can say is i am honestly very glad that i never experienced that. the way things are right now feel pretty much awesome.

it’s all coming back to me now.

if you forgive me all this
if I forgive you all that
we forgive and forget
and it’s all coming back to me.

when you see me like this
and when I see you like that
we see just what we want to see…
all coming back to me.

just in case anyone was considering getting a mohawk, let me inform you that trying to grow it out looks like the most ridiculous thing in the world. a customer today at my job (dollar store) felt the need to let me know she noticed i was trying to grow out an asymmetrical mohawk. if it’s that obvious, it can’t be good. that is all.